Sometimes you don't get closure...move on...
There are few moments in life where you gain absolute clarity on how different you are from someone than during the moment of a breakup. You start to see -- for lack of a less cliche term -- someones true colors.
You wonder...why would you do this to me?, what have i done to make you act this way? Why didn't you come to me with the issue before it became a problem?
The hard truth is...you may never get closure and if you ask for it and you're not receiving it to your satisfaction, move on. As hard as it may be, you cannot continue to search for something that will never be found.
If you're anything like me, you might ask all the questions you have and think you have found closure, but then, when you're lying in your bed at night with just your thoughts, you begin to think of more questions that you need answers to. but, listen...you'll always have questions, it will never make sense, you will always question whether that person ever loved you at all, there will never be sufficient enough answers to help you feel like you got everything you need to move on.
The fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter what they say, how many times they apologize, or how many times they explain moment for moment why they did what they did. If they have cut you deep enough the wound is far too open for closure. This means that even though you may be left with a permanent limp (unanswered questions) you have to move on. There is no other way.
So, how do i move on? It's a painful process, believe me, but it starts with destroying all notion of your right to know why and your right to have closure. Destroy the belief that if they are not willing to give you the closure you need than you must not be worth it. Because yes, while you absolutely deserve answers and closure from that person and you are in fact worth it, that person is not capable of providing you with what you need...and lets be honest...isn't that why your here in the first place? Know that you deserve closure and accept that they are not the ones to give it to you, so give it to yourself. Elevate your self worth by moving on.
As i write this, I'm speaking to myself, because i find myself still wanting to ask why, i still feel like i haven't gotten closure, but i realize that the person that hurt me is lost his self, so how can he help me find what I'm looking for?
I'm not a relationship expert, obviously, and the things i write in the blog are a pure expression of my thoughts and what i am and have begun to learn throughout this journey.
As always, thank you for stopping by and know you're worth it! :0)